Dying in Vain.

I don't think I know myself. I'm like walking on a lonely path and I don't know where it leads. Want to ask for help but I don't know how. I don't know how to show what I feel (even to myself). If I could just let myself shed tears, maybe the pain would go away. But I can't; i don't know how. There are many things that I don't know. All I know is that the future lies ahead. But it is veiled with haze that reminds me of my miseries. But when I look carefully, I realised that it's me who's blocking the way.

I want to run away and forget that I exist! I want to just suddenly disappear to some place where I will be neither laughing nor crying. I want the pain to melt away. I would give all my happiness just to make the sorrows go away.

And now, every strand of hope seemed gone. Nothing is left but the filthy residue of regrets. I wish I could just fall and broke into a thousand pieces and along with me my tears. I have hoped for everything but I deserve nothing. Everything that has happened to has been a mistake and I can't change it; I'm not willing. I don't think I could.

There are many things in life that you cannot explain. Pain, suffering, regrets, -- everything that you would say that you can live without will plague all you life. There's nothing you can do about it.

I'm, you may say, Emo. No, I'm not. Not really. An emo would say they're sad but the truth is they're confused. They are drowned with their own non-existent misery. They don't know what true suffering meant. They are hypocrites who want to gain other people's side by shouting that they are in pain --but they're not. I'm different because I feel for a reason. I could hide it long enough for them to vanish completely. Emo for me mean: Emotionally Mutilated Oddball.